Winter Solstice Police Blotter Haiku

We visited my sister this weekend; it was interesting. I've tried to write it up for two days, and failed.

So while I continue processing, have a few more police blotter haiku. They're ideal stocking stuffers for the holidays. Most of these were taken from the police log of the Bonanzaburg Bugle up in the Gold Country. Nice place, but they could stand to drink a little less. I've left out the items that involve actual hallucinations.

Drunken donuts, not!
Rolled his car while doing them.
Hello, DUI.

Yelling, banging walls.
The cops stopped by to tell her....
the neighbors noticed.

Ten bats in your house?
Sorry bud, transferring you
to State Fish and Game.

Wanton wreath assault
by leaf-picking juveniles.
Cue irate caller.

Someone broke into
his storage unit but found
nothing worth taking.

I would like to know
how a cop "detains" ten cows.
Story didn't say.

Worst boyfriend ever.
Stole her car, hit and ran, and
ditched it in a creek.

Dry not your t-shirt
on a hot halogen lamp,
said the zen firemen.

Pounding on the roof.
Was the roof guy who'd promised
to come by last week.

A wanted man, punched.
By another wanted man.
So both went to jail.