Friday, June 25, 2010

More Police Blotter Haiku

I can't help it. I keep writing haiku based on small-town newspaper crime reports: police-blotter haiku. There's something so zen-like about those little stories that they deserve to be put in verse form. Not much crime there, but lots of human nature: suspicion, misperception, anger, resentment and yes, plain old humanity.

I may or may not be onto something, but at least least I'm enjoying myself. This latest batch was inspired by the police blotter from a paper I'll call the Lake Harborwoodville Tribune/Informer, which serves a well-heeled semi-rural Oregon town not far from Portland. In its way, another Prettyville - but with an overlay of Oregon goofiness. Thanks, and enjoy.

Why did someone smear
Cheeze Whiz and peanut butter
on that poor Volvo?

A house fire, or a
backyard barbecue and the
Tri-Tip of the Gods?

Did the runaway
run off to Las Vegas, or
to his therapist?

A large potted plant.
appeared in his mailbox, and
he reported it.

Mormons at the door.
Pretend that no one's at home.
Or call 911.

The first-floor tenant
Can't accept second-floor noise.
Why live in anger?

It's a rite of Spring:
Young men reverse a street sign
and run off laughing.

Suspicion can make
a gift of blackberry pie
look like a drug deal.

His ex came back to
get her stuff and yes, he
had to let her in

Constantly he walks
in circles in his own yard.
It bothers people.

3 comments:

POD said...

I enjoyed all of them. Keep 'em coming.

emikk said...

They are great.

Boomer said...

Thanks, guys. These things just fascinate me.